Bloody Mary, The Night It All Went Wrong

Hi. I'm Miss Capri.

I'm about to tell you what happened to Samara Summer Morgan, a fictional movie character who turned into a dealive chain letter kid, her friend Bloody Mary,

and several of their equally fictitious chain letter pals who went on a scaring spree via the Bloody Mary hoax, the Earless, Noseless Dead Kid With Knife hoax, The Girly Thug Gang, the Killer Mickey Mouse, Teddy and other "forward or die" hoaxes.

But one day, their plans ran amok as they tried to scare the wrong person.

Smashes:

Once there were some trouble-makers with scary hair and blond eyes - woops, I mean, scary/red/bloodshot eyes and blonde/red/black hair, and with no ears or noses, claiming to be dead. Their names were Summer, Richard, Jenny, Teddy, Jenna and Jane.

Richard was fourteen, Summer was fifteen, in 2006. Jenny, Teddy, and Twin sisters Jane and Jenna were 7 years old...in 2004...

However many years passed, these cretins chose to keep trying to haunt people and scaring them into passing their chain letters on. It never got old for them, because they stopped developing mentally at 7, 14 and 15.

Jane: Hey, that wasn't nice!

Miss Capri: Put a cork in it, Jane, you of all sorry little idiots, calling yourself Bloody Mary and scaring poor little kids by giving them anxiety and nightmares! Yes, I know about you and your reject friends Teddy and Jenna etc. You are detestable bullies so don't you dare whine when you get deservedly called out for it!

Richard: I'm not a cretin!

Jenny: What's a cretin?

Miss Capri: It's another word for 'idiot'.

Teddy: I'm not an idiot!

Miss Capri: Oh really? You're so stupid you just can't stay out of my way.

Summer: Hey, I'm not stupid enough to believe this chain letter, I just think it's hilarious how many people are!

Miss Capri: Okay, Summer, you're either an idiot or a liar -

Richard: "Hey, don't talk to her that way!

Miss Capri: or both. *grin forming on face* Hmmm, Richard...What's - with - you - and - Summer - anyway? Hmmmm?

The seven-year-old contingent: Woooooooooooh, they're in love! *childish squeals, giggles and guffaws*

Summer: *turning red* I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU!

Miss Capri: Too bad, now shut up and don't mess up this story!

Jenna: But you are messing it up!

Miss Capri: Too bad for you, now shut up!

Jenna and Jane: *pout*

Miss Capri: Now, where was I? Oh yeah! Ahem...

Jane and Jenna were fond of their version of the Bloody Mary hoax. They were so similar to each other that even their names would've been anagrams of each other if it weren't for Jenna's double-N, which Jane always wished she had. She always felt a bit ripped off that her sister got an extra N and she didn't. Summer was just the odd person out, in both the age and name department. Heh, heh!

These stupid freaks had one mission and -

Jane: We're not freaks!

Miss Capri: Heh, we shall see about that in a few moments!

Chain letter people: *scowls all around*

Miss Capri: *scowls fiercely back*

Summer: How did this wench get in here? I thought we were going to scare somebody closer to our ages!

Miss Capri: Heh, don't you just hate when plans get ruined? Anyway...On with it.

As I was saying...These knife-wielding charmers had one mission only, to scare the pants off more people. It was how they managed to stay dealive. That's a combination of the words 'dead' and 'alive. You see, they were in fact, neither. They weren't dead because they were never alive to begin with. Yet, they lived off the scares they gave people by lying their ears and noses off.

Jenna: That's not fair! Who is this person and why is she making us look as scary as a paper bag!? She's giving it all away! Waaaaah!

Miss Capri: Heh, heh, heh! You'll find out... *Sly grin*

So this fine lot of girls and boys threaten to appear by your bed and kill you with a knife if you don't pass their threat to fifteen people within five minutes, or post their message to five more sites, blah blah blah.

Summer: Hey, we didn't even get to you yet!

Miss Capri: You didn't get to me yet because I sought you out first.

Jenna: Then there's no chance of scaring her, bummer.

Jane: And no chance at getting her to pass our scary story on to fifteen people either. Waaah!

Summer: Or posting it to five more sites!

Jenny: Or vids! Man, this stinks!

Miss Capri: I haven't even warmed up yet, you'll be completely powerless in the eyes of anyone who reads about what I am going to do to you.

Summer/Samara's chain letter was re-written by her many times for various mutations to work with specific sites. This is because she couldn't quite decide on the details, and wished to make her story sound scarier with each mutation of the chain. She also thought, wrongly, that she could avoid subsequent versions of her chain getting smashed.

Putting all her silly hoax letters into one, it said:

---

Summer/Samara Morgan's chains: you are reading this you must NOT stop. W HEN U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN! ONCE YOU START READING DON'T STOP OR ELSE.!!

Miss Capri: Once I've found you, Samara Summer, you cannot get away. Your stupid hoax will get debunked, ridiculed, your chain letter utterly smashed.

Summer/Samara Morgan: (I'm sorry for this)

Miss Capri: No you're not, stop lying.

Summer/Samara Morgan: MY NAME IS SUMMER I AM 15 YEARS OLD i have BLONDE HAIR and blue eyes. ,MANY SCARS no NOSE OR EARS.. I have no nose or ears, mybody is covered with scars.

Miss Capri: Yeah, you must be one heck of an ugly cuss. No, you're not scaring me.

Summer/Samara Morgan: I AM DEAD. Didn't I tell you ... I'm dead.

Miss Capri: You can say it as much as you like, but I know you are a liar, Samara.

Summer/Samara Morgan: My dad killed me with a kitchen knife in the year 2001.

Miss Capri: So Summer, that must mean you were 15 in 2001, which would mean you're far older by now. And this new thing you added about being killed by your father - I seem to remember that was from the lousy Ring movie too. Didn't Samara first try to kill her dad, then get killed by him, then try to kill him and everyone else on earth and finally get killed again? - Or - whatever, I'm getting dizzy here....? Anyway, the versions of this chain vary quite a lot, with the basic story being the same, as you can see. They continue:

Summer/Samara Morgan: "IF U DONT COPY THIS JUST LIKE FROM THE RING, COPY N POST THIS ON 5 MORE SITES.. (OR..) If you do not postthis on to 10 other pages or groups in the.................................next 15 minutes,

Miss Capri: You'll be sad because your stupid chain didn't scare me.

Summer/Samara Morgan: I WILL APPEAR ONE DARK QUIET NIGHT WHEN UR NOT ExPECTING IT BY YOUR BED WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U. I ... See Morewill appear tonight by your bed with thekitchen knife that killed me, and I will kill you." No matter how oldyou are - I WILL murder you.

Miss Capri: Uh, Samara/Summer, all nights are dark, duh! You do not want to meet me in any darkened place. I can get around well in the dark and have excellent hearing and a great sense of smell - and I will own you.

That idiot Summer/Samara mutated again, the hoax rewrite, which was posted on Yahoo Answers, shifted from first to third person.

Summer/Samara Morgan: this girls name is summer

Miss Capri: Oh, really, Summer/Samara, writing another mutation of your stupid hoax in third person about yourself, and just when I thought you couldn't get any more pathetic.

Summer/Samara Morgan: she is 15 years old and has blonde hair many scars no nose no ears

Miss Capri: Just like you were 15 the year before that and the year before that, etc. etc. Give it up, girlie.

Summer/Samara Morgan: ...she is dead if you DO NOT repose this then she will spear on a dark quite night when you are not expecting her with a knife and she will kill you

Miss Capri: And just how are you going to spear a night, Summer? and what is a quite night? there are quiet nights, but no such thing as a quite night. It's either day or night, not quite day or quite night.

Summer/Samara Morgan: ON THE 25th OFF MAY YOU WILL DIE

Miss Capri: Only in your stupid little fantasies. so now that May has come and gone for another year and I'm still around, you're going to bump the timeline of this dumb little chain letter to when, October 31, perhaps? Fun spooky time, that, but still, you will fail to scare me, and I will trounce any and all mutations of your ridiculous hoax I see.

Summer/Samara Morgan: YOU WONT IF YOU SEND THIS TO 18 PEOPLE INSIDE 50 SECONDS

Miss Capri: Bad grammar, or at least, very pathetic wording. I've never known any people to literally live inside a unit of time, let along 18 people living "inside 50 seconds" Because that would mean, once those 50 seconds were gone, so to would the people be, blip, just like that. Stupid, Samara, stupid.

Summer/Samara Morgan: OR ELS ON THE 25TH OFF MAY YOU WILL DIE

Miss Capri: Broken record… Broken record. I have a little broken record for you too, Samara, you're a liar, you're a liar. And did I tell you, you lie like a rug?

Summer/Samara Morgan: BY SAMARA MORGAN WHO IS THE GIRLE IN THIS VIDEO OR THE GRUDGE

Miss Capri: Samara Morgan is that gross freaky little kid in that stupid movie "The Ring" more on that in a bit. No movie character ever killed a real person… And I've never heard of anybody getting killed by a grudge. By people carrying grudges, yes, but not the grudge itself. You can't just zap people with grudge brain death-rays. You see how utterly laughable you are, Samara?

Summer/Samara Morgan: SO REMEMBER MY FRIEND DIDN'T SEND THIS TO 18 PEOPLE INSIDE 50 SECONDS THEN SHE DIED ON THE 25TH OFF MAY LAST YEAR SO SEND SEND SEND..!!!!!!!!!!

Miss Capri: Yeah right, Summer/Samara, first, you don't have friends unless you want to count your silly dealive chain pals. Even if you could make friends, Samara, killing them for not sending your dumb chain letter is beyond all reason. But then, considering what sort of jealous, obsessive freak Samara Morgan of "The Ring" infamy is, well, need I say more?

Summer/Samara Morgan: THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U IF YOU POST THIS ON 5 MORE PAGES. (THIS IS NOT FROM ME BUT I HAVE TO SEND IT CAUSE I FEEL SCARED OFF IT.. SO I DID WHAT IT SAID..YOU SHOULD TOO) PLEASE DON'T GO! It's up to you if you re-post this or not,but this is no lie. This is FOR REAL! Now, copy this and paste it ontothe walls of 10 other pages or groups.
.........................
Yourtime is running out. Hurry.."

Miss Capri: Samara, your time is running out. You are about to get it, and no matter how your hoax hurries over the net to scare people needlessly, I will smash it wherever I see it.

---

Richard simply copied part of Summer's caplock letter, replacing her name with his.

It turns out there is a movie called The Ring and it's about people getting killed by a vicious little mad dead girl who cursed a video tape or something like that. So that's how you got your name, Summer, like in Samara that wicked little mad dead reject kid who was jealous of all the little horseys that her adoptive father loved more than her? Sheesh, talk about a dumb pile of anti-breeder dreck!

Summer: *moans and jaw drops a mile* Does she never scare?

Miss Capri: No...There's nothing you can do to scare me, Summer Samara... *Drawling out the name scornfully* And as for you, Richard, taking on the name of the "big bad horse breeder" who didn't want his own kids, also very lame.

Richard: Oh, man!

Miss Capri: It might've been a Fun plot for a movie if it didn't actually encourage belief in stupid chain letter hoaxes with this drippy lame ending where the journalist and her pal make copies of Samara's cursed video tape to send around to others in order to pass the curse around and avoid getting killed within seven days themselves. STOO-PID!

Summer: Hey!

Miss Capri: And it's absolutely ridiculous to believe in it for real!

Summer: You weren't supposed to say that!

Miss Capri: Yeah, don't you just hate it when you stupid little freaks can't scare and control somebody, no matter 'how old they are' ? That revision of your chain for Facebook isn't going to scare the over 20 crowd any more than the previous attempt.

Anyway, the other thing that made this movie utterly stink-suck, it has a definite animal rights/welfarist anti-horse breeder propaganda twist tossed in. *Withering glare*

Richard: Whoa, what did we get ourselves into this time?"

Miss Capri: I think that would be called 'trouble' Richie. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. *sigh* Moving along.

Jenny's letter appeared on Youtube, and again on Yahoo Answers among others. In a later version, Jenny made up something else that was particularly stupid - a claim that she had pencil shavings shoved up her butt of all things. This makes her story look more like an anti-chain, but people still get scared of it even so. This might be because she tried to make her tall tale even darker than Summer/Bloody Mary's usual:

Jenny's chain: SORRY!!!! WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN MY NAME IS JENNY I AM 7 WITH RED/orange HAIR and PENCIL SHAVINGS THAT GOT SHOVED UP MY BUTT MY MOTHER BEATS ME I LIVE IN A CELL WITH NO WINDOWS DOORS AND NO LIGHT I HAVE RED SCARY EYES AND IHAVE NO NOSE OR EARS I AM DEAD IF YOU DONT SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4? U GO TO BED I WILL APPEAR 2NIGHT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U AT 10:22 SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU OR TALK TO YOU ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE YOU OR ASK YOU OUT BUT HERES THE CATCH Send To 15 vids

Miss Capri: So, Jenny, if you "live" in a cell, how can you be "dead"?

Jenny: Uh...Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh...

Miss Capri: And why are you still getting beaten if you are dead?

Jenny: I - uh - I...Oyoyoyoyoyoy -

Miss Capri: For that matter, how can you be breezing around telling people to post you to more "vids" if you're being kept in a doorless, windowless, dark cell?

Jenny: I don't know, I just thought it sounded really sad and scary!

Miss Capri: It doesn't. It just stinks.

Teddy's letter, including his description was a slight mishmash of Jenna's and Summer-Samara's.

As for Jenna and Jane, these girls were either sharing one wireless connection that linked their two artificial brains in a mind-meld, or one initially wrote the threatening letter and the other one copied it and put in their own specific intro. Jane's letter begins:

---

"my name is jane.....i am 7 years old with black hair and red eyes."

---

Jenna's begins:

---

"My name is jenna.....i am 7 years old with blonde hair and scary eyes."

---

The rest of it reads:

---

"i have no nose or ears.... i am dead. if you do not send this 15 people in the next 5 minutes i will appear tonight by your bed with a knife and kill you.. this is no joke Something good will happen to u 2nite at 9:22. This is not a joke some1 will either call u or will talk to u online and say that they love u. do not break no send bak sorry!"

---

Only Jenna's cut off before the "no send bak sorry!" which doesn't even make sense to begin with.

Summer's first attempt was closer to Jenna, Jane's, and Teddy's.

Miss Capri: Okay kiddies, first of all, I don't know how to break this to you, but your writing is terrible. And that caplock, Summer-Samara, ugh! You are all seriously ugly, how did you two lose your noses and ears anyway, did you get into a knife fight with one another or something?

Jane: What!? She's laughing at us!

Jenna: Not fair! I'm not ugly, I'm scary!

Summer: I think I look a little more scarier than you because of all my scars, though.

Miss Capri: Nope, you're ugly. Well, okay, your hair is nice. Come to think of it, Summer-Samara, Richard, Teddy and Jenna, your hair smells really nice. Jane, you with the red eyes and no nose etc? You smell pretty delicious too. *sniff* Mmmmmmh hmmmm. Like...Well, I'll get to that in a bit. *licks lips*

Jenna: Let's get out of here, she's scaring me!

Miss Capri: *Grins malevolently* Bwahahahaha.

Jane: Hold it, she hasn't seen what happened to Jessica with Bloody Mary, she'll be scared and she'll forward our chain letter then!

Miss Capri: *scoffs* Bloooooooooodeeeeeee MmAaRrYy!

Jenna: Stop that! Jane, tell her to stop, she's freaking me out!

Jane: Freaking you out with our own stunt, c'mon, this is nuts. *shudders*

Miss Capri: *chants Bloody Mary's name again in an even more omonous voice.

Jane: Don't!

Miss Capri: Muahahahahahaha!!

Jane and Jenna: *shriek*

Pause

Teddy: Sissies...

Jenny: I'm not a sissy!

Jenna: Okay, Jessica's story.

Miss Capri: Which one? Jessica Mydek or Jessica Smith?

Jenna: I dunno, just Jessica!

Miss Capri: But I thought you said you knew everything about her, including her full name.

Jane: WHAT THE HECK!? How did you -

Miss Capri: I looked you guys up, you didn't find me, *omenous drawl* I - found - you...

Jenna: "I sure hope Jessica's story works, or we'll be dead!

Miss Capri: I thought you said you were already dead.

Jane: Well um, uh...

Miss Capri: *wicked chuckle* Now, let's have this Jessica's story.

Jenna: It's a messenger chat and what happend after.

Miss Capri: Expect me to make comments throughout it.

Jane and Jenna: *chorusing* Oh, no!

---

a girl named Jessica went online she started talkin to another girl. it started out normally.........

Miss Capri: Make sure not to spare the period key, whatever you do!

Jane: Oh now she's making fun of us again!

Jessica: Hey person.

Miss Capri: Since when does anybody address a contact like that? What're you even doing talking to her on messenger if you don't even know so much as her handle? I smell totally contrived bogus chat.

Jenna: Oh, shoot, this isn't gonna work on her.

Jane: Be quiet, will you?

Other girl: Hello

Jessica: You've been a really interesting person to talk to.

Miss Capri: So Jessica, that tells me she is no longer interesting and you have no intention of talking to her again.

Other girl: Really? Thanks. You really mean it?

Miss Capri: Kid, can't you tell a snow job when it comes your way?

Jessica: Yea.

Other girl: What's ur name again?

Miss Capri: Man are you goofballs thick.

Jessica: My name is Jessica. What's urs?

Other girl: I can't really tell u.

Miss Capri: Why, have you forgotten your own name too? What a dunce.

Jessica: Why?

Other girl: Because I'm dead.

Miss Capri: *laughs*

Jessica: What?

Other girl: I'm dead.

Jessica: How can u be dead? I mean, dead people don't i.m. living people.

Miss Capri: You're partially right, Jessica, dead people don't IM anybody, period.

Other girl: Yes they can because I can.

Miss Capri: So you can IM someone because you're dead, but you can't remember your own silly name? Makes perfect sense...

Jessica: Ok then, so ur dead. Ok. So what's ur real name now that I know that u are dead?

Other girl: Mary, or at least it is now.

Miss Capri: Interesting, so you change your name at will?

Jessica: So where do u live 'dead person' and what's ur last name and ur real name?

Miss Capri: You're catching on, Jess, she's one of those dealive people, sort of like you, only because you never claimed to be dead, you're just what we call fictional.

Mary: Do you really want to know?

Jessica: Yea, duh. I mean, ur probably lyin and I wanna know who u really r by lookin in the phonebook.

Miss Capri: Right on, Jess. So Mary, you actually took the time to change your handle in the middle of a chat? Got sick of being "Other girl" already?

Mary: You really wanna know?

Miss Capri: Repeat yourself much, Mary?

Jessica: (Feeling Frustrated) Yes. I DO! Now just tell me ur dumb name!

Mary: I"m not dumb.

Jessica: (Calming down a little) Fine then. Ur not. So tell me ur name.

Miss Capri: You can't remember your own name so you change it, and you say you're not dumb? Uh, Mary, lemme put it this way. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Jane: Wow, how did we end up running into this mean woman!?

Miss Capri: I made sure of it.

Mary: I live in mirrors and travel by them, and my full name is BLoody Mary.

Miss Capri: So Mary, which kooks spawned you and gave you that name?

Mary: Hey you, butt out already!

Miss Capri: Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Jessica: (Laughing) You can't be bloody Mary. There's no such thing!

Miss Capri: Actually yes, there was, and there is. But this chick - or chicks - IMing you ain't it. Bloody Mary is a drink. It's also the nickname of Queen Mary Tudor who was Henry VIII's first born daughter. It was also supposedly the nickname of someone accused of witchcraft a hundred years ago. Bloody Mary was also said to be a woman of more modern times who died in a car accident with her face smashed. Is that where you goons got the idea for no nose and ears?

Jane: Hey! Shut up, meannie!

Mary: Are u sure about that? Do you wanna find out the hard way? I know everythin about u. I know where u live, what u like, who u like, ur favorite color, ur full name, and I know what u are scared of.

Jessica: Ok, ur really freakin me out now. Stop it!

Mary: I won't. If u don't copy this conversation down and send it to 15 people, I will come to you.

Miss Capri: Yeah right, Jenna-Jane AKA Mary, let's all go see Jessica.

Jenna: Oh, no, she can't come along! How are we going to pull off that mirror and knife thing with her there?

Jane: Calm down, Jenna, it'll work.

* * *

Chain continued: The Next Day...

Jessica woke up in the mornin after sendin a copy of her conversation to 15 people. She went into her bathroom and turned on the lights. She looked into her mirror and all of a sudden, the lights went out. She looked into the mirror and saw a person standing next to her with a long blood covered knife. She was holding it up over Jessica's head.

Miss Capri: Hold it right there! If the light goes out, how is Jessica supposed to see somebody standing beside her, holding a blood covered knife over her head, in a mirror? The light went out, gals, out as in, like, it's dark in there! Dark, as in, you can't see, got that?

Jenna and Jane: *groaning miserably*

Chain: Jessica looked around and felt around but felt nobody else in the room. She turned around and turned on the lights. She turned around

Miss Capri: Jessica, you're making me dizzy. You can stop spinning now.

Chain: and there was no person beside her or in the mirror anymore. Then she looked on the ground and saw something red. She bent down and felt it. It was wet and looked like blood.

Miss Capri: Jessica, don't worry, it's that bottle of cinnamon mouthwash, you spilled some of it on the floor when you were frantically spinning around.

Jessica: *Sigh* Thanks, whoever you are.

Miss Capri: I'm Miss Capri and you're welcome. Now don't forward any more ridiculous chain letters. I'll deal with the fake Bloody Mary girls. *Leaves the room*

Chain: Bloody Mary didn't hurt Jessica only because she sent the e-mail to 15 other people. Now you have to too or Bloody Mary might get you.

Miss Capri: Liar liar, pants on fire...

Chain: Send it to 14 or lower people, and you never know what might happen... After you send it instead of clicking OK hit alt. and then F4 you will see a mysterious picture of Bloody Mary

* * *

--End of chain text. By the way, you don't have to do a thing other than load this page to see Bloody Mary's picture. It should be the first image you see. --

So Summer-Samara, Jane and Jenna thought they had gotten away with an even scarier trick than other similar chain letter people.

In addition, they thought they would use a copy of the April 12, 2002 email tracking hoax forward or die letter to try looking a little older and more sophisticated than they really were. It read:

--

Don't Open in Front of Parents....

Five people actually got killed by not sending this piece of mail.

The creator of this mail has a program that will track down everyone who sent this mail and whoever that didn't send it will DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE because this program can actually track down your address. We Will bring the Girly Thug gang and kill kill kill

Send this to 15 people within the next fifteen minutes or you will die die die die die, what do you have to lose? Your life so pleaz send this on to

--End of chain--

Miss Capri: Yeah right. How do you stupid doofuses think you'll make somebody die 15 times via three kills by a girly thug gang sent by a nonexistent email tracker?

--

With the smashes done, now comes the story of the fates of these dealive chain letter factory-rejects.

--

Put off by the smashes of their chain letters, this dealive contingent of brats were stalled on the highway of evil scheming for a while, until one of them thought she would bring out the big gun, or, rather, tape and ring.

"I have something that'll be even more convincing," Summer-Samara chuckled, "A ring! And my killer video tape!"

"Hey, where did you get that?" Jenna's scary eyes bugged out.

"I'll tell you later, when we've managed to get a lot more people passing on our chain letters and get that debunker off our tail!" Summer-Samara said with a grin.

"Probably from Richard," Jenny teased.

There were more giggles at this.

"Wait a moment, there's someone we can scare into passing on our chain letters!" Teddy said, indicating another person coming into sight at her computer.

Uh-oh! Bad move, Teddy!

This person turned and looked malevolently in their direction. She stood up and approached them from the cyberspace hiding place where they were lurking.

They all felt themselves being dragged into her room.

They screamed, because they hadn't managed to get caught before now.

"Uh, Bloody Mary-Summer-Samara-Jenna-Jane, it's 'fewer' not 'lower' than 14 people. You can't even string a coherent sentence together, and you're sad if you think hitting alt4 will do anything other than exit a program. Nights may not always be quiet, but they are always dark, so your threat is not only as ridiculous as your friends or sisters' here, it's redundant as well. I'd tell the lot of you to get real, but that would be rather impossible in your case."

Jane sighed, and looked around. "Oh, not her. How do we ditch this Miss - whateverhernameis??"

"I thought she vanished when the light went out in Jessica's bathroom!" exclaimed Jenna.

Miss Capri laughed menacingly at them. "Everything vanished from view then, you ditzes! And now to straighten you out on a few more things...First, that email tracker thing has got to die. There's no such thing, and no such person who could create an email tracker that hunts down people who don't forward your lousy chain letters, let alone kill anyone."

"Dang it all, we've just got right in the way of that debunker and she's blown the whole thing out of the water!" Jenna wailed.

"Yeah, that email tracker thing is a bit out of date," said Summer-Samara, "everybody's doing blogs and are on Facebook and Twitter now."

"Doesn't matter. there's no such thing as a Twitter tracker, you twit." Miss Capri said, looking right at Summer-Samara. "Following isn't the same."

"I'm not a twit!" Summer-Samara protested.

"I'm just getting warmed up, blowing your bullying hoaxes to bits." Miss Capri hissed.

Jenna had another idea as she spied the mirror door closet. "There's a mirror, let's try to go through that."

It didn't work. All she succeeded in doing was crashing loudly into the mirror.

Miss Capri suddenly became cross. Glaring at Jenna, she said, "Break that mirror and you'll have to clean it up, and buy me a new one! And you can't get out through any of my mirrors, because you can't scare me.." Before the dealive contingent could think to make a dash for the door, Miss Capri went over and shut it, trapping them all in the room with her.

The computer playlist faded out with "Your Love Oh Lord" and "Hotel California" began.

Jane gasped and shuddered. "Oh, no! Not that song!" she whimpered.

Miss Capri responded gleefully. "Ah - hahahahahaha! How appropriate! Welcome to my place, girls and boys! And how can you hear the song without your ears?"

Oh, this is so NOT COOL!" Richard complained. He tried the door, but it wouldn't budge. He cussed, then tried to get away via his ring. That didn't work either.

Miss Capri grinned from ear to ear. ""Okay," she began, "first, Jane and Jenna...You two little short-stuffs totally botched your own ritual, which can't work even if it was done right. It's bull. But what you did wrong to make you look like complete newbs too eager to scare someone? I'll tell you."

Argh, I wish Bloody Mary really would come and shut her up, don't you, Jenna?" Jane whined.

Miss Capri only continued. "You didn't wait for Jessica to get a candle and light it. You didn't wait for her to turn the light out then and say "Bloody Mary" several times. You thought you'd be more frightening this way."

"At least I had nothing to do with that." said Summer-Samara.

"I don't care," Miss Capri said coldly, scowling at Summer-Samara, "You're still playing the same game, and people are falling for it."

"What game?" Summer-Samara asked.

Miss Capri rolled her eyes at her. "Cut the innocent act." Turning on Jenny the redhead, Miss Capri's attitude suddenly became very cross. "And you!" she scowled at Jenny, "Accusing someone, your mother of beating and locking you in a cell, where did you get the idea for that bogus sad story? From Amy Bruce?

Jenny turned away in a vain attempt to hide from Miss Capri.

It didn't work.

Well?" Miss Capri stepped toward her.

"I just wanted to put something in my letter that wasn't in all the others." Jenny said.

Miss Capri narrowed her eyes.

"Uh-oh, I think we're in trouble." said Teddy.

My, but you're quick on the draw, Teddy." Miss Capri replied.

Teddy moved closer to Jenny, she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Looks like the lovebug's got the kiddies too." Miss Capri said, grinning.

"Ewwwww!" Teddy and Jenny both exclaimed and immediately stepped away from each other as if they were infected with something nasty.

If fear didn't work on this mean person, maybe an appeal would, or so Jane thought. "So we couldn't scare you. We didn't hurt you, so we should go now."

Miss Capri chuckled and grinned broadly. "Oh, you mustn't think of it. Things are about to get exciting."

Jenna started panicking. "We got to get out of here!"

Summer-Samara touched her ring and muttered some words, but nothing happened. "What!? Stupid ring, get me out of here!"

Miss Capri just laughed.

Jane became frantic. "Stop that! Please stop! We just wanted to thrive another night and scare somebody!"

"And you have." said Miss Capri sternly. "You scared Michelle,Annalise, Louise, Thomas, and Jessica into passing on your chains, every version equally dumb and equally bogus. And the rest of you somehow coerced people into spamming a site with yours. And don't get me started on how you've managed to target and frighten countless little kids into passing on your pile of bullcrap by faking up little testimonials."

Jenna, feeling offended, tried to stave off her own fear. "It isn't dumb!"

Miss Capri remained unimpressed. "It is dumb. Anyway, you go around creeping people out and you dare to get offended with me? you're gonna pay for making terrors and pests of yourselves, starting now."

Jane whimpered, "Please stop that song, it's giving me the creeps!"

"Well, what comes 'round, goes 'round, as who was it - your friend Timothy Flyte, or maybe David Darren Bucklew Hendrix etc.? Well, one of your bogus sick friends told you when they tried to get themselves and their story passed along." said Miss Capri.

Jenna tried once again to make an appeal. "But we don't think your dumb or scarable, so please let us go."

Miss Capri was unmoved. "What you think of me isn't the issue. Here, lemme get a closer look at you guys." She said mysteriously, approaching the huddling chain letter children as they continued trying to will themselves through the closet mirror and out via chain letter ring.

Hotel California gave way to Tempest's Byker Hill.

"Ah, haha! Perfect!" Miss Capri exulted. "Now, let the fun begin!"

The entire dealive chain hoax contingent cried out as Miss Capri took away their knives. It was a surprisingly easy task, and in a few moments, the reason was revealed.

"Oh, yeah, you were really gonna nail people with these things," Miss Capri laughed derisively. "Little plastic knives with foil over them to make them look like the real thing, and that stuff ain't even real blood. One is ketchup and the other *sniff* Mmmmm. As I was saying, you blond, red-eyed wonders smell good enough to eat."

"Oh, no, the jig's up now." Jenna whispered to Jane.

"Hey, give that back!" Summer-Samara hollered as Miss Capri tackled her, making her give up her knife.

Miss Capri tossed the knives on the desk, but didn't let Summer-Samara go just yet.

The ring actually tore as Summer-Samara struggled with Miss Capri.

Oh no!" Summer-Samara wailed.

"Wow, you expected this ****y little piece of wire you call a ring was going to make people send around your stupid little chain, or get you out of a fix?"

"You broke it! You broke my ring!" Summer-Samara whined.

"That's not the only thing about to break." Miss Capri said menacingly, pressing Summer-Samara against the side of the bed.

Summer-Samara shrieked and struggled, but Miss Capri wrenched something else off her person. A video.

"NOOOOOOO!" Summer-Samara howled.

Miss Capri released her, and set to work destroying the tape.

Summer-Samara tried to grab Miss Capri, and take the tape away from her, but got decked savagely in the head with it for her effort. She shrieked, apparently in pain and helplessness.

Another few moments, the sounds of plastic components being loosened and roughly cracked apart, more screams from Summer-Samara, and finally, Miss Capri tossed the now wrecked tape case with some of the tape wripped out, onto the floor. Then she really got to work destroying the tape, jumping on it to break the casing even more, stomping and kicking it around.

For a while, the violent sounds of breakage and smashing of the tape, and Summer-Samara's agonized cries went on, but they eventually subsided.

Summer-Samara sagged back on the bed, Richard slumped to the floor on the other side of the room. Both of them were moaning weekly as the curse and their power was now gone.

Miss Capri kicked the broken tape under a dresser, then gave Summer-Samara and then Richard each a merciless glance. "Nice makeup job, Summer-Samara and Richard, too bad for you you didn't get those scars tattooed instead."

"Summer, Richard, where are your scars?" Teddy shrilled.

Neither could answer. They were becoming more transparent, losing color fast, as they faded away.

"What the heck did you do to them, Miss?!?" Jane squealed.

What just happened!? You killed them!" Jenna exclaimed, she had been watching in horror along with the others the whole time.

"Yeah, well, they were stupid to bind their existence to a supposedly cursed tape." Miss Capri snarled malevolently.

"You - killed them!?" Jenna repeated.

"And hopefully your hold on anyone else you try to scare into forwarding this junk!" Miss Capri replied firmly.

With Summer-Samara and Richard now gone, Miss Capri turned her attention back to the other frightened and huddling chain letter pranksters.

We gotta get out of here! Now!" Jenny began panicking.

Inexplicably, everything went quiet for a while. No one moved. The chain letter bullies couldn't move. They felt themselves being weakened and drained, and each of them could do nothing as Miss Capri gripped,pressed, tugged, yanked, and breathed on them. They had finally met their own nightmare, feeling their scary red eyes and hair, blonde or dark, and cherry colored faces being quickly, mercilessly, consumed

After some time, Miss Capri heaved a satisfied sigh, and said, "I guess I might let you go now, but before I do, you wanna look at yourselves in the mirror again?

They did.

"OMG! Jane, where are your eyes!" And I don't have any more hair! Neither do you, Teddy!" Jenna squealed.

"Oh no! I'm bald!" Teddy wailed.

Mmmm-hmmmm." Miss Capri purred. "...Blonde Cotton candy hair, and that cherry drink or unset jell-o, whatever you used in your squibby red eyes, those things tend to get eaten around here, and you guys taste great."

The dealive contingent screamed.

"Now," Miss Capri laughed. "good luck trying to scare anyone else with your bald heads, Jenna and Teddy. Jane, you might try using chocolate to get a nice pair of brown eyes next time And when you do, by all means, come back here so I can check them out as well. Jenny, you should try for a pretty pair of blue or green eyes. That would be blueberry or lime. Mmmmmm!"

The girls cried and Teddy cussed because their appearances had been changed from scary to pathetic, they were without their fake but supposedly scary looking knives, without Summer-Samara's fake ring and killer video, without Summer-Samara and Richard as well, and absolutely pwned. They were powerless and found out for the frauds they were.

one by one, they along with their egos shrunk away into nothing.

Miss Capri returned to her computer to wrap up the story and put another music entry in her blog. Jenny, Teddy and the J twins returned to Hoaxton, perhaps a little wiser? NOT! Well, they would at least try to steer clear of one real world person who did not die for refusing to pass on their chain letters, and had the last laugh at their expense.