CBCF Christians Breaking Chain Forwards Smash chain letters, don't bash God!

That stupid Killer Clown Statue hoax chain just keeps cropping up and scaring people.

One person was so confused and scared, that the clown statue might be a real serial killer.

The killer clown statue story is not true… It never was true, and never will come true.

According to this urban legends page article, the Clown Statue chain has been circulating since at least as far back as 2004, but was probably inspired by horror movies throughout the 80s and 90s, and possibly John Wayne Gacy, and the 1990 killing of a woman in West Palm Beach, Florida by an unknown assailant in an orange wig.

As for this wanna-be fictitious clown creep, he might think he's scary and has the upperhand over everyone else. But here, he can't escape his fate, because:

We...Will...Find...And.Re-annihilate...Him!

Muahahahahahahahahaha!

Yeah, look out, Clownie, you are so ended!

The Clown Statue and Clown Statue Sequel Chain

Both stories rolled into one, this statue will be very sorry he clowned around making up stupid chain letters. Time to smash the clown statue to dust.

Beth: Bahahaha! *grin* Great smash. Sheesh, I hate clowns, so this one will be a special pleasure to destroy.

* * *

Chain: Subject: Fw: clown

Miss Capri: Right…

Chain: this creepy or what?

Miss Capri: Not to me. Just because you say "This is creepy" doesn't make it creepy and won't convince me that it is.

Chain: DONT READ THIS

Miss Capri: Why? You afraid of this stupid chain getting smashed?

Beth: What, you afraid it'll eat you if you read eat? OMNOMNOM! Mmmm, morons!

Chain: Don't stop reading this or something VERY BAD will happen to you in exactly 5 hours and 22 minutes. This is extremely freaky. Be careful what you open.

Miss Capri: 1. If it says "don't read" why originate it at all?

2. If the subject of an email says "Don't Open" it might be easier to not open than if this phrase was just plunked in the body of the message, which, you'd have to open to read.

3. There's nothing freaky and nothing bad will happen if you don't forward this chain letter.

Beth: Tch! Exactly. Forward starters aren't exactly known for their intellectual prowess...

Chains: A few years ago,

Miss Capri: What's "a few years ago" got to do with now?

Chain1: two parents

Miss Capri: Which parents, and OMG like, only two of them? Earth-shattering! Lol.

Chain2: a mother and a father

Miss Capri: That's usually what "two parents" consist of. Duh. I'm asking you for names, locations, date and time, etc. Something better than just a generic "A few years ago a couple parents"

Chain2: decided they needed a break, so they wanted to head out for a night on the town. So they called their most trusted babysitter.
Chain1: went out for dinner.

Beth: WOW! No, really?! I'm just blown away by that! *flat expression*

Chain2: When the babysitter arrived the two children were already fast asleep in bed.

Miss Capri: my gosh, that has got to be some late dinner. I hope the kids were fed before their parents went out on their big night.

Chain2: So the babysitter just got to sit around and make sure everything was okay with the children.

Miss Capri: Duh, that's what she's being paid to do, genius.

Chain1: A few hours later,
Chain2: Later in the night,

Beth: No! Stop! This is too much for me! First a couple years ago, now a few hours? Cool it, you're blowin' my mind! *rolls eyes*

Miss Capri: Okay, you're confusing me here. A few hours after a few years ago later in the night when these two parents went out for dinner? Hmmm, you didn't even give a specific time when this dinner was happening in the first place. So am I to assume this lasted a few hours? My, must've been a slow restaurant.

Chain2: the babysitter got bored and so she wanted to watch tv

Miss Capri: No, really!? Like, wow! Totally unexpected plot twist! *Snicker*

Chain2: but she couldnt watch it downstairs because they didnt have cable downstairs (the parents didnt want their children watching too much garbage) so she called them and asked them if she could watch cable tv in the parents room.

Miss Capri: Okay, weird setup. usually there's a TV in the front room, sometimes another in the basement, sometimes older kids have TVs in their bedroom, but a TV in "the parents' room" what room exactly is that? The master bedroom? Seems a bit strange to me, but oh well.

Chain2: Of course the parents said it was ok, but the babysitter had one final request.

Miss Capri:Uh-huh."

Chain1: the babysitter was calling to ask if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room,
Chain2: She asked if she could cover up the large clown statue in their bedroom with a blanket or cloth, because it made her nervous.

Miss Capri: Oh, the forward-or-die clown... Anyway, whatever happened to the sittr being bored? She's bored, she's nervous, which is it?

Beth: Look, if something is creeping you out, you wouldn't call to ask if you could cover it up. It's not like this is a magic blanket of death, y'know.

Miss Capri: So, why put a statue in a kid's room? Seems a bit weird to me. You'd think there'd be, oh, i dunno, toys? And why the sitter wants to cover it up? It's not like any statue or toy's likely to catch cold without a blankee, you know… Why even call about a thing like that? you'd think it would be a simple matter of tossing a blanket or sheet over it and removing it again later if the sitter's so scared of the thing.

Chain2: The phone line was silent for a moment, and the father (who was talking to the babysitter at the time) said.....
Chains: "Take the"
Chain1: "kids"
Chain2: "children"
Chains: "and get out of the house. We'll call the police, we don't have a clown statue."

Beth: So, um, they freak out because of a statue? Who keeps statues in kids' rooms anyway?

Miss Capri:Wait a moment, the father's forgotten what weird thing he'd given his kid for their birthday or Christmas already? Or maybe the sitter brought it along and is suddenly scared of the way it looks in the kid's room? Although I don't know how, statues are generally very big - I'm not sure who in their right mind would plunk a statue right into a kiddy room, really.

So, however it got there, these silly people are going to call the police over it? If they don't want the statue, why not just get it on a truck and haul it away to a museum or park somewhere? The police? Urh, sure, they're always busy arresting statues for stuff!

Chain1: The "clown statue" is really a killer that escaped from jail.

Miss Capri: If only that was really possible, catching escapees would be a lot easier.

Chain2: the children and the babysitter got murdered by the clown. it turned out 2 be that the clown was a killer that escaped from jail.
Chain3: it turned out the clown was a prisoner and he murdered the children and the babysitter

Beth: Pssh! What is he, the Clown Killer? Y'know, that might work at a circus, but if you see a clown just walkin' around town...put it this way: serial killers don't broadcast that they're there!

Miss Capri: So, this killer gets out of jail, and what? Zickity-blip, he turns himself into a frozen clown figure parked in some kid's room? He must've tried some Hogwarts spell and got it wrong. Hahahahahaha! Usually escaped prisoners try not to be found, you know. DUH!

Chain1: If you don't post this letter on to 10 videos/pages tonight,
Chain2: if you dont repost to 10 peeps within 5 minutes
Chain3: and if you do not send this to 5 more videos

Miss Capri: I can tell you what'll happen, you won't have made a complete stupid dork of yourself, and you will not have annoyed anyone who checks out those videos.

Chains: the clown will be
Chain1: in
Chain2: standing next 2
Chains: your bed at 3:00 am with a
Chain1: chainsaw
Chain2: knife
Chains: in his hand;
Chain3: in you bedroom at midnight with a chainsaw."

Beth: Uh, just how is he going to get in my bed when I'M in my bed? Some weirdo tries to get in my room, and I'll clobber 'im!

At any rate, this is a half-baked little chain, and your magic demon clown statue and blankie of death aren't going to scare me. So go on. Go away. Shoo.

Miss Capri: So, somebody's going to rig this statue up with a saw and somehow get it into my bed by 3 without me being aware of this activity? How is this someone going to know where I post and to how many sites, let alone what I post today? The only one keeping track of that is me, doofus.

And what of all the other smart people who have read this silly chain and didn't spam ten videos with copies of it? This clown is going to what? Clone himself? Divide himself up into a zillion other little clowns to lie in everybody's bed with his zillion little chainsaws? Lolololol!

So, we get an incomplete, half-baked story that couldn't get any lamer, and then threatened with the idea that a clown statue who used to be an escaped killer will lie in our beds with a chainsaw and be useless? Right.

Chain1: sorry"

Miss Capri: Knock it off. You're not sorry and we all know it.

--

So, putting these different tellings together, the clown serial killer did nothing to the kids and babysitter and wants you to post his chain to 10 videos so he won't do anything but hop in somebody's sack with a stupid chainsaw?

Or, the clown is merely a prisoner, not a serial killer, but he killed the babysitter and children, and will kill you in bed with his stupid chainsaw if you don't post his dreck story to 5 videos?

Or, he is a killer that escaped from jail and did in the babysitter and children and will stand by our bed with his stupid chainsaw if you don't repost.

what's with the time discrepancy? A couple versions say he'll be there at 3 AM and another says midnight. so, which is it?

See how ridiculous this is?

--

Now we get the Clown Statue 2, the Sequel, with another whole story that tries to be freaky and fails!

It is even featured in this Youtube video about easily freaked people who actually believe in this junk. He does a great job reading it aloud.

Beth: Hahahaha! Oooh, that clown is ASKIN' for it! My name in a forward- well, I'll show 'em! Time for some inserting.

* * *

Chain: During a thunderstorm ...

Beth: Hey Ben! Sup?

Beth: Huh!? What the-!?

Miss Capri: The girl in the story is not the real Beth, by the way. Hooh, boy, Clown, you are so asking for it! Beth, the chain-smasher is going to kick you to the curb for using her name in your chain letter! And I will laugh.

Beth: Uh, yeah, that's putting it lightly! Who the heck is this other Beth, anyway? I tell ya one thing, she's gonna be a skid-mark on the digital highway when I'm done with this!

Ben: Uhhh ... nothing much about to go to a party ... haha you?
Beth: Haha nice ... uhhh just staying in for the night.
Ben: I have this huge favor to ask you ...
Beth: Yeah ... what?
Ben: Can you please come over and watch my brother for me? I won't be able to go if no one watches him.
Beth: Ughh ... well ....
Ben: Please Beth!
Beth: *Sighs* Alright. I'll be over in a few minutes.

Miss Capri: Well, what a doorknob you are, Ben, you could've invited Beth2 along to the party and arranged for someone else to sit your brother, or simply ditched the party if your parents were out.

Beth: Eh, what? Why didn't you invite Beth II to the party? Or maybe you're too cool for that...*rolls eyes* Yeah...not. Well, it's obvious Beth II doesn't have my brain.

Miss Capri: That is for sure.

Chain: A few minutes later, Beth arrives at Ben's house.

Ben: Hey, thanks so much!
beth: Hehe. No problem. By the way, you look really nice.
Ben: Thanks! Anyways, here's my number. Call me in about an hour and tell me how everything is, okay?
Beth: Alright, bye!

Miss Capri: Okay, Beth2 arrives at Ben's house after they communicated over the phone or via some chat client, and he gives her his phone number? Couldn't he have done that earlier? Just saying. and Ben's still a jerk.

Beth: Hang on- WHAT? Gah, Beth II is stupid in two different flavors. Whoever is responsible for this mess-up is SO gonna get it...

Miss Capri: Lol!

Dunno what's up with her commenting that he looks good, though. Erm. I really don't think that'll go over well with Smasher Beth, either.

Chain: Then Ben left. Beth headed over to Ben's younger brother.

Beth: Hey sport!
John: Hi Beth ... I'm really scared ...
Beth: Awww ... don't be. I'm here. Lets turn on some T.V.

Beth: *rolls eyes* 'Sport'? What is this, The Great Gatsby?

Miss Capri! Hahaha - Mindlinkage. I thought of the same thing.

Chain: As Beth walked over to the T.V. , the lights suddenly went out. John freaked out and screamed!

Miss Capri: Well, you did say this was during a thunder storm, so let's assume power outage. No biggie.

Beth: Heh! What, wittle Johny-wohny scared of a power outage? It happens, kid. Don’t freak out over it. So it’s dark, big deal. If the REAL me were in this, well, things would be going more smoothly. I have a flashlight on my key-chain. Beth II is obviously not very prepared…

Miss Capri: Not that TooCool4u Jerkface Ben actually gave her much time to get prepared either.

Chain continued:
Beth: John, it's okay. I have a flashlight. Hold on, one second. Darn it! The flashlight doesn't work! Uhmmm ... okay, okay, lets go up to your brother's room. I think he has an extra one.
John: *mumbles* okay.

Miss Capri: So, we have a dead battery too. Yeah, see how this is not freaking me out?

Beth: See what I mean? Beth II has a dud flashlight. ALWAYS check the batteries in your flashlight. Common sense.

Chain: As Beth and John headed up towards Ben's room, they heard a creepy laughter that brought chills up their spines.

Miss Capri: Stupid partiers.

Beth: *rolls eyes* Oooh, I’m shakin’ in my boots! Well, Beth II most certainly is…

John: *screams* What was that?!
Beth: John stop doing that. Let me call your brother and ask where the flashlight is.
John: But I didn't ... *Johns voice started to fade away ...*
Beth: Hey Ben! How's the party?
ben: Good, thanks! Listen I got to go. Can I call you in 5 minutes?

Miss Capri: wow, Ben, you didn't even ask her how things were back at home with Brother John. What a yutz!

Beth: Yutz indeed. This guy totally blew Beth II off. I mean, she’s not exactly a winning character, but still. Ben’s a total stinkface.

Miss Capri: I agree. Boo-hiss on Benny Boy.

Chain continued:
Beth: Sure. But where's the flashlight in your room?
Ben: Oh, uhmmm ... it's under my bed, to the left. I think.

Miss Capri: So, Ben, you keep a flashlight under your bed? Um, WHY?

Beth: Who the heck keeps a flashlight under his bed? RANDOM.

Chain: Beth walks over to Ben's bed and screams.

Beth: Oh my God!
ben: What happened?!
beth: Oh, hahah. Nothing, I didn't know you had a clown statue in your bedroom. It scared me half to death Especially the bloody knife on its hand. It looks so real! Where did you get it? Did you get it at the Halloween store?

Beth: Hey, watch your mouth Beth II! A gasp, maybe, but no shouting, swearing, screeching business- especially not over a darn clown statue.

Miss Capri: *Nods in agreement* Oh, so it's the clown statue again, is it? Well, well, well, he's got his fate sealed. And he seemed to have traded in his chainsaw for one of those chincy ketchup-covered foil knives too. Where do these dealive chain freaks keep getting these toys?

Ben: Beth ... I don't have a clown statue in my bedroom.

Miss Capri: Right, just like the parents didn't have one in their children's room either.

Chain: The line quickly goes dead. Ben started panicing

Beth: Aaarg! Make up your mind! Either tell the story in past or present tense, not both. Seriously…!

Miss Capri: There's a 'k' in 'panicking'.

Chain: and raced home as fast as he can. When he got home, he ran into his bedroom, where Beth and Ben were no where to be seen.

Miss Capri: Huh? Hold up. Ben raced into his room where Ben was nowhere to be seen? You're losing it.

Beth: Heheheh! Wow, Ben’s hallucinating.

Miss Capri: Hah, yeah, probably from partying too hard.

Chain: He saw his brother lying on his bed.

Miss Capri: So, he saw John lying on his bed, yet if you actually meant to say "Beth and john were nowhere to be seen" and you mistyped "Ben" instead, then you just outed yourself again. First, John was nowhere to be seen, then he was seen lying on his bed, so which is it?

Ben: *rolls his eyes and said to himself* I can't believe Beth would play such an awful trick on me.

Beth: Heh! You think you’ve seen an awful trick? You don’t even want to THINK about the kind of tricks the REAL Beth could play on you…

Miss Capri: Hehehehehe! And you're one to talk, Benny Boy, you don't even invite her to the party, you demand that she call you and report on how John's doing, and when she does, you don't even ask about him, or her for that matter, you're so busy partying that you just gotta go, and now you're sorry for yourself because you think she played a trick and took you away from your precious stupid little party for a few minutes - oh, man up already!

Chain: He went and sat down at his computer and pulled up myspace. He went into his myspace account and checked his bulletins. I noticed that he had a random new friend. The profile picture was a freaky clown face.

Miss Capri: YOU noticed? Yeah, I'll just bet, since you are the clown who put it there and started this chain letter.

Beth: Eh? When did YOU get here?

Miss Capri: I suspect he's been here the whole time, since he is the clown who started this chain letter.

Chain: That made him freak out a bit.

Miss Capri: And I'll bet that just made your night, dork!

Beth: Oooh, yeah, big scary clown face…this how you spend your evenings, Clown Boy? Yeah, what a winner…

Chain: Then he saw that the mysterious clown friend had posted a bulletin called "Clowning Around". Ben opened the bulletin and started to read it. This was the same bulletin that he saw last night!

Beth: Yeah, sure, big scary Myspace bulletin…I’m just gonna burst with fear. Sarcasm: warp 50.

Miss Capri: Hahahaha! Gah, Myspace bulletin chains are seriously obnoxious and annoying that way, with everybody posting the same dumb dreck. It's hardly surprising he would've gotten the same bulletin two nights in a row from two different contacts. That's how it goes with stupid virals, from Myspace bulletins to viral email jokes and video links.

Chain: He got freaked out and didn't repost it.

Beth: Wow, this Ben kid gets freaked out WAY easily…

Miss Capri: Not hard to imagine since he probably can't see straight. So, Clown Boy, the freaking out made you all happy inside, but you boiled over when he got enough sense not to repost it.

Chain: Trembling, he got in his bed, next to his brother and kissed his cheek good night.

Miss Capri: But let me guess, it wasn't really his brother, it was you, the stupid clown statue thing instead…

Beth: Eh, he kissed the cheek goodnight? I know what you mean…it’s just kind of a funny mental image…

Ben: You can sleep here with me tonight, Sport. Good night.

Beth: Oh, for the love! More of this ‘sport’ business.

Miss Capri: Irritating. What's with both Ben and Beth2 calling him Sport? Yeah, I get it, Ben thinks John's in the bed, and he's frightened enough by your stalker antics and stupid chain letter to share a bed with him. And since you'd been hiding there the whole time after you managed to whoosh John away somewhere in the confusion, or maybe you killed him - you lay there like a lurking hyena, watching Ben at his Myspace, and cracking up inside, just waiting to move in for the kill. No, you're not scaring me. Your fate, Clown Statue, will be truly terrifying.

Chain: Suddenly, the figure in the bed turned to ben.

Clown: Now its your turn.

Miss Capri: Oh, you are SO predictable!

Beth: Oooh, I’m terrified!

Chain: Ben let out a high pitch screamed and the clown killed him. After the job was done, the clown threw Ben under the bed along with Beth and John.

Miss Capri: and for that, the clown will pay.

Beth: Heh! Well, Beth II met her doom. Now, this clown will meet his fate for using my name…

Chain: If you don't repost this in the next 10 minutes,

Miss Capri: It has taken me longer than that just to tear this thing apart so far. If I don't repost it -

Chain: the clown will appear by your bed tonight, while you're sleeping and the same ending will happen to you

Beth: Pff! Oooh, yeah, I’m so scared! If that clown tried to tussle with me, I’d rip ‘im to pieces!

Miss Capri: Hahahahahahaha!

--

Here's what happened to the clown when he got in our way. And no, we're not going to do the typical story where everybody's scared of and gets cursed or killed by some dumb chain.

* * *

Once there was this clown who fancied himself an escaped killer, and he wanted to get revenge on everybody he hated, with stupid chain letters.

so he began writing a laughable story in which he killed all his enemies, then escaped from prison, then began dressing up as a clown wielding a chainsaw to scare children.

He nearly got caught once when creeping around with his fake chainsaw, so eventually ditched it for a toy knife with ketchup and food coloring smeared on it. That was smaller, so, easier to conceal when he wanted to do his stalker routine.

He was mad at Beth for saying how she hated clowns in the smash of the original chain letter, and decided to make up a dumb story about her as well.

He had planned to play out the story with her, playing the part, first, of Ben, and later, John, killing all three, and then he alone would be able to scare more people into passing on that chain story as well. It gave him hubris overload fantasizing about the real Beth being terrified of him right up to her last dying breath. He wanted her to realize she was wrong, he and his stupid chain letters were for real.

He never got the chance.

He didn't count on Miss Capri happening to it.

Like his first chain letter, his second was discovered and smashed by her, and she showed it to Beth. The real Beth would not have gone along with Ben anyway, much less complimented him about anything.

The Clown also hadn't counted on failure because he was only a chain letter creep, and couldn't touch Beth even if she said she hated clowns.

He sat at a computer one day, having originated the Ben/Beth/John version, and was absolutely giddy with glee at seeing it freak out some netizens. Now, he wanted to come up with more fake scare chain letters. "Carmen Winstead, Teddy, Bloody Mary, you dweebs have nothing on me! My chain letters will be the scariest! They'll scare way more people into spamming the net than all of yours put together!" he chortled as another story idea came into his head.

But when he was about to start typing, he found he suddenly couldn't move.

His computer screen seemed to come closer to his face, and finally, it engulfed him altogether.

His vision swam, then went black.

Then the computer screen lit up with a scene - a children's room. It was even better than Second Life, the 3d effect was simply amazing! It was as if he was standing right in the middle of a kid's room.

The TV was on in another room, and a couple of kids seemed to be arguing over which show to watch. Clearly they were not scared, or just unaware of the stranger who had arrived in their room, frozen in place.

The brain-dozey sitter was another story, though, she had a smart phone (smarter than herself,) or PDa of some kind in which she was frantically trying to contact someone.

The scene went black for a moment, then shifted to a restaurant where a discussion was taking place at a cozy little table for two.

"For my part, we don't have to come here again." the woman complained.

"So much for that." said the man. "the soup was cold and watery."

"And then we had to wait while they grew the wheat to make the pasta," said his wife.

"And that table over there, coming in a full half hour after us, and they got their meal first. No, we'll never come back here again."

His cell rang.

Then the chain originator, now a frozen clown, heard the conversation going on between baby-sitter and father, just as he had written it.

The scene shifted again.

He was once again facing what looked like a computer screen, with the words of his stupid chain letter. But there was other writing inserted throughout, and below it as his chain was getting very annoyed responses.

The next thing, he tried to contact Beth, though he really didn't know if he was getting the right one - the world was full of Beths, after all.

He set up the party arrangements, and played the parts of Ben and John, and believed everything was going swimmingly until he killed Beth, or so he thought - it was only the fake Beth in his chain story who was done in

A voice suddenly spoke from just behind him.

"So you thought you got the best of us, did ya, Clownie?"

"And you wanna be a forwarded clown statue, do you?" jeered another.

Huh, wha!?" The clown cried out, jumping up from his computer.

Welcome to the party, Benny Boy, or whatever you call yourself."

Your demise party!" said the other, menacingly.

The clown would have turned off the computer and fought or fled, but he couldn't move.

A statue you shall be." said one of the unseen entities. "But you won't be in one piece for very long!"

Malevolent laughter from the two enemies followed.

He fell back in his chair, shaken, and it was the last thing he could do. As he was a statue by now, there was nothing he could say or do in reaction.

Millions of email addresses and usernames flashed by, but the words at the top of the screen read:

LIST OF STUPID PEOPLE WHO FELL FOR KILLER CLOWN CHAIN

The clown felt himself being pulled this way and that, whirled up, down, and around, being made thoroughly seasick as the computer display went on and on at light speed with the never-ending scroll of stupid forwarders.

"The thick-headed clown who started this ridiculous, stupid chain letter, is as foolish as all the others." a derisive voice spoke again. "No one can track who doesn't forward this junk. It's the forwarders who put out their own emails, user-ids and information, up in lights for all to see how stupid and annoying they are for believing this pile of codswallop."

Much as he'd like to defend himself, the clown statue couldn't.

"But in order to get forwarded to everyone, you'd have to spread yourself incredibly thin. It's not like there are billions of clowns with chainsaws, sleeping in beds all over the world." the unseen entity behind the clown said. "You'd have to turn to dust to reach anyone. Nothing but household dust." then came wicked laughter.

"No! the clown screamed inside his head. "I just wanted to play with people's heads with this chain letter! That's all it was, a stupid chain letter I made up!"

But of course, he couldn't transmit his thoughts into words, spoken or written.

"So...you thought you'd seen the last of me!"

The clown was helpless as one of the entities materialized somewhere outside his line of sight.

"You thought you could use your little story to get some kind of revenge on me, huh? Well, hate to break it to ya, pally-"

The clown was whirled in his seat to face the speaker.

"But I'm still here!" she said, glaring him full in the face.

"You!" The clown thought, terrified. "Oh, no, no, no!"

Beth, the real Beth, smiled and snickered. "Oh, yes, it's me! You ticked off the wrong smasher. So now, you're gonna pay."

"No! It was just a joke- oh my gosh, what have I gotten myself into!?"

And - I'm here too." the other debunker could now be seen standing just in behind Beth and peering at him with a grin that meant no good. "Remember Miss Capri?" she said smoothly.

"Oh, no!!" the clown thought as a another wave of terror hit him. How in the world did she find him and his second chain letter so quickly?

So, what should we do with this dealive chain freak?" Miss Capri asked Beth. "Send him into Farmville madness along with James Ronald? Send him into my Haunted keyboard?"

At this, the clown shuddered inwardly. No one who was put in there was ever heard from again.

Or," said Miss Capri, "Since he's a statue, just crush him?"

OMG! Somebody help!" the clown screaned inside. "It was just a joke, all in fun, I tell you!"

"Let's crush this clown!" Beth said menacingly.

"NOOOOO!" the chain clown shrieked inside his head. He had never been more sorry for anything in his life than originating this chain letter.

"Hahaha, good. Whose computer should we use, yours or mine, or his own?"

Beth thought about it a moment. "Since he started the trouble on his computer, let's end it with it." she finally said.

Miss Capri grinned broadly. "All right then, Clown Boy, you're ended. I'll let my friend here, do the honors, since you had the nerve to put her name in another re-encarnation of your stupid chain letter. Take 'im out of town, Beth, do your worst."

My pleasure!" said Beth.

The computer screen filled up with the display of some kind of monstrous machine that seemed to come out of the screen toward the clown.

the computer speaker roared with the sound.

Sickening crushing and grinding sounds were heard as the chain clown statue went into the machine, feet first.

It crushed and ground him, and he saw and heard it all, until the machine finally got to his eyes and ears.

Once every bit of his head was crushed and ground to dust, he saw and heard nothing more.

The chain letter killer clown statue is an irritant, a bit of cyber-dust, but never has, can, or will appear in anyone's bed or anyone's room to frighten you or any babysitters.